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How to ABC Yourself Out of an Upset

How to ABC Yourself Out of an Upset

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In this video, I will take you through the step-by-step process of Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy. REBT was developed by Dr. Albert Ellis, who is famous for his ABC model. REBT is a mental approach to therapy that focuses on our belief system. It recognizes that our upset is based on faulty beliefs that need to be amended.

It is based on the premise that unrealistic and irrational beliefs cause most emotional problems. The purpose is to help a person strive to identify, then change irrational beliefs, challenge self-defeating thinking, and actively promote rational self-talk.

The ABC’s are:

  • A = an Activating event
  • B = the Beliefs we have about the event and our resulting Behaviors.
  • C = the Consequences of our behaviors.
  • D = if the consequences are undesirable, we need to Dispute our beliefs.
  • E = the Effect is becoming a more rational person.


The steps to take are:

  1. Identify the event that caused an upset. (A)
  2. What are your beliefs about what happened which led to how you behaved in that situation? (B)
  3. What were the consequences of that behavior? (C)
  4. Go deeper into the underlying judgments and beliefs to identify the core belief that may need a new perspective. (D&E)


The core unrealistic beliefs that most people carry from childhood into adulthood that cause the most emotional disturbances are:

  1. I must perform well in order to be approved of by any significant others in my life.
  2. I must be treated fairly, and if not, then, it is a catastrophe and I simply could not bear it.
  3. Conditions must go my way – and if they don’t, then it is horrible, and I will be distressed and unable to bear it.
  4. Others must do as I want/expect them to do or they are “bad”, “wrong”, etc.


Ellis calls these beliefs: I must do well, you must treat me well, and the world must be what I want it to be – “Must-erbation” all of which, when examined, are very neurotic beliefs.

BUT – we have the capacity to change how we view the events in our lives.

When our minds work against us, life can feel like a constant struggle, filled with challenges that seem insurmountable. But when our minds become our allies, we unlock the power to overcome obstacles and embrace a life filled with joy, success, and endless possibilities.

When your subconscious mind is working for you instead of against you, it can empower you to reach heights you never imagined possible.

I am offering a unique opportunity for 5 lucky individuals to embark on a life-changing journey into the world of hypnosis, meditation, and somatic release. By transforming your mind from a foe to a powerful ally, you’ll experience newfound mental clarity, emotional resilience, and a sense of inner peace that will propel you forward in every aspect of your life.

This is an 8-week coaching and Hypnotherapy program designed to retrain your thinking at the deepest level in order to become truly happy.



Make a Conscious Change

When one is open and ready, a hypnosis session can provide comfort, direction, clarity, healing, and support for moving forward in alignment with one’s life purpose and plan. It is a way to re-program your mind to focus on thoughts that are supportive of your goals, rather than self-sabotaging thoughts.

As a hypnotherapist specializing in Quantum Healing Hypnosis,  I help people to know themselves and become co-creators of their own life. Schedule your consultation by calling me at 206.854.8343 or booking online HERE.


*Photo by David Clode on Unsplash and Music: Dreamscape en silencio, Silencio Music

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